It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
