you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
