If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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