dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
