listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
