u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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