Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts