i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?