Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Drunk is not a location!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
