I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
