did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
