I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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