I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She announced her abortion via fbk
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
