hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
