DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
