bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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