The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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