I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
