i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
