And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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