absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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