That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
