listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I need water and some morals
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
