TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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