someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
