I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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