I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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