He passed out mid-signature
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
