so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish they made helmets for livers.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
