the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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