I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
