im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
