If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Girls should come with a carfax report
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
