why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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