The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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