the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize