I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize