She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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