does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
