my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
