Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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