They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
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Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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