Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
