Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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