I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
