We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
