I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't put those talents on a resume
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
