it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
