i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
