Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
