Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
