He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
