About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
