she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
