Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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