woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
