You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize