i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
