like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
