My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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