walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
