yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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