Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
