What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
