I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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