I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
